How to Escape a Conversation, Heian style

Sei Shonagon’s “Pillow Book” contains a great deal of lists on various subjects, among them things she loves or lists about nature. However, one of the lists that is most relevant today is the aptly named “Hateful Things.” Each situation presented causes one to chuckle in recognition, so relevant is it to modern times.

“One is in a hurry to leave, but one’s visitor keeps chattering away. If it is someone of no importance, one can get rid of him by saying, ‘You must tell me all about it next time’; but, should it be the sort of visitor whose presence commands one’s best behavior, the situation is hateful indeed.”

You must tell me all about it next time!

An excellent suggestion on Sei’s part. The next time someone other than a boss or perhaps mother in law keeps chattering to you when you are in a hurry, simply leave with a quick “You must tell me all about it next time!’ and a smile.

They’re hateful. You’re Heian.

“Strolling in the Heian Period” Scarf

From Hermes, Fall 2009

Supposedly this scarf was inspired by Heian-era art, which would be exciting, but I don’t entirely see it. The colors are very bright for an era known for introspection and melancholy, and not similar to what one would see in a Genji print. Anyone see any distinctly Heian symbols? Other than the addition of black lacquer hats on men engaging in decidedly un-Heian athletic activity, I’m at a loss.

Additionally, Fuji-san is depicted in the top left corner, but Heian aristocrats lived nearly exclusively (unless essentially banished to the outer provinces by a post as a provincial governor) Heian Kyo, which is not near Fuji-san. Mt. Hiei is frequently mentioned in Heian literature, but it does not have that same distinctive, perfectly symmetrical look.

Advertise Your Fondness for Genji Monogatari….

Genji: the World's Oldest Novel. A perfect subject for a t-shirt!

Choose Magic over Science!

Real.

Heian aristocrats were highly artistic, but remarkably disinterested in intellectual pursuits. Their lack of rational and scientific knowledge combined with belief in magic from earlier Japanese societies created a deeply superstitious people.

As such, Heian-era people believed in taboos, spirits, ritual purity, and katatagae, or changing directions to avoid harm.

Whatever that is

Why not apply such thinking today?

The next e a friend of yours attempts to lend credence to a point with a condescending “it’s science” or “it’s fact”, try laughing in their face. You don’t believe in science! You’re Heian.

You trust magic.

Spend Your Idle Days Playing Board Games

A no doubt spirited game of Go!

A Charming Heian Card for Modernity

For sending your friend a witty poem.

“Genji”, Anime – Style

With those overly realistic eyebrows and blondish hair, that woman would not be considered a beauty by Heian standards. And as for the man - he doesn't look plump at all!

A Modern Novel of Heian Inspiration

Check out that hair.

An example of a Heian-inspired character in modern times would be Ingrid Magnusson in the best-selling novel, “White Oleander” by Janet Fitch.

Fitch created Ingrid, a cold, highly aesthetic artist living in late 1990’s Los Angeles, after imagining what would happen if a Heian – era lady, totally obsessed with aesthetics, beauty, and form, and lacking in certain moral qualms, were suddenly transported to modern times – and had no money.

While the novel itself is more about Ingrid’s daughter, Astrid, who is thrown into the Los Angeles foster system after Ingrid murders her deceitful lover, whom she had initially considered beneath her as it was, Ingrid is most interesting to us as a monstrous example of Heian – era values transplanted to modernity.

A Murasaki Shikibu ROBOT.

Belong to Contradictory Religions

A major confusing aspect to life in Heian era Japan is that of religion. One cannot simply ask, which religious group did Heian Kyo aristocrats follow? The answer would be every religion that they had been exposed to.

Shinto shrine in Nara

The traditional religion of Japan is Shinto, which roughly translates to the way of the Gods. However, Shinto did not have a name until the introduction of Buddhism to Japan via Chinese ambassadors, back when they were still welcomed, and Buddha was initially viewed as an additional deity to be worshipped.

Shinto and Buddhism, however, are fairly contradictory ways of viewing the world. Put very simply, Shinto is an animist faith of many spirits and gods that involves joyful acceptance of the ways of nature, which man is inextricably a part of, whereas Buddhism is an agnostic philosophy about the inherent suffering humans experience with a resulting emphasis on passionlessness.

As a result of this philosophical mishmash, Heian aristocrats stayed in Buddhist monasteries for weeks on end, but followed Shinto rituals of purity. A certain Buddhist melancholy is pervasive in the art and literature of the period, but pagan Shinto celebrations of agriculture were happily continued.

Great Buddha of Nara

It’s true that both can be applied to different aspects of life, and still are in Japan today. However, now there is even more religious confusion. A wedding in modern Japan will typically involve Shinto traditions, but a funeral will be Buddhist. Confucian thought governs social roles.

Tokyo Tower

Christmas is celebrated in a commercial sense, with gigantic Christmas trees on display in large cities.  The Japanese have less concept of “belonging” to a religion, but rather follow traditions or concepts from multiple faiths without anxiety over the inherent contradictions or any discernible cognitive dissonance. Or do they?

Is that what I think it is?

A Heian paper doll?

Make Strange Wagers with Your Boss

Though gambling is one of the remaining taboos in American culture, it was an every day amusement in Heian Japan. Betting was common, whether over competitive games such as Go, who could come up with the best poem, or every day events in nature over which one had no control.

One anecdote in Sei Shonagon’s “The Pillow Book” involves Heian-era gambling at its best. Sei boastfully declares that a certain mountain of snow will certainly not melt before a particular date that is weeks off. The Empress whom she serves, amused by the proclamation, takes her up on the wager. This leads to a great deal of stress for Sei. Initially confident, she finds herself spending weeks obsessively checking up on the snow mountain.

How many weeks will it take to melt?

Her knowledge of nature and its ways ever sharp, Sei finds that while snow on the ground continues to melt, the snow mountain is still rather large. It melts further and further as times passes, however, and the last few days of watching an waiting are the worst for Sei.

Finally, the night before the final date of the wager, a relieved Sei notices there is still a tiny mound of snow left.  While she would not have lost a good deal of money had she lost, the mockery and laughter to which she would have been subject would have been totally merciless.

The next morning, as Sei arises, the mountain is GONE. Totally! Suspecting some sort of sabotage, she goes to the Empress, who bursts out laughing in her face. While Sei had won, the Empress ordered men to destroy and haul off the remaining snow in the night just to see the look on Sei’s shocked, distressed face.

There’s a lesson here. Don’t make weird bets with your boss you can’t absolutely control. While it may be tempting to wager that a leftover slice of cake won’t be eaten two weeks after an office birthday party, your boss might secretly bribe a glutton with low standards to eat it when you’re not looking. Offer a bet like that, and you might just be the laughing stock of the office. Think about it.

Retreating to the Monastery

An ascetic retreat.

Michitsuna no Haha, otherwise known as the author of the  ”The Gossamer Years”, an account of her life as Kaneie no Fujiwara’s much ignored second or third wife, frequently sought respite from the misery and boredom of her sedentary aristocratic life in Buddhist monasteries in the mountains. Wives in Michitsuna’s time frequently lived at home with their parents, rather than in a new home with their husband, and their husbands would visit them. Irregular visits were common, and a total cessation of visits altogether was akin to a divorce. The strange, undefined marital customs of the time, which included polygamy and concubines, as well as affairs and discarded wives, meant a great deal of emotional turmoil and, at times, material hardship for noblewomen of Heian Kyo.

Unmarried aristocratic women generally had a fucking blast. Sei Shonagon and her fellow ladies-in-waiting were amusing themselves with idle chatter, bizarre wagers, constant travel and ceremonies, poetry contests and games of Go. Such was not the life of a married aristocratic woman in the capital. An unmarried woman  could discreetly have affairs, drink too much sake, gamble, or publicly deride powerful men for their crappy poetry. However, a married woman or daughter was expected to live a sedentary, indoor life, hidden away behind various screens and curtains, unseen. As such, boredom gave way to extreme introspection, as “The Gossamer Years” demonstrates.

Sitting alone in a room all day with little contact from Kaneie, all poor Michitsuna finds herself able to do is write and think about him, and wonder whether she will see him again. The only action that appeared to help her to feel better was to retreat to a Buddhist monastery in the mountains, to such a degree that her son, the only biological child she had with Kaneie, had to stop her from taking a nun’s vows multiple times.

Despite the glamor and enviable high culture of the period. there were many drawbacks for certain citizens, and that included aristocratic women.

….On the other hand, life in the palace for royalty and their attendants was essentially The Real World: Kyoto. I might take my chances.

More Evidence of Enduring Popularity

A Heian lady with uncharateristically large eyes.

Shelter Yourself from Outside Reality

Due to a multitude of historical circumstances and Japan’s geographic status as an archipelago, Heian-era aristocrats had little in the way of urgent state business. They no longer had contact with foreign states, nor was there any conflict from abroad. There were occasionally internal revolts, but provincial military clans easily took care of such things with the reward of minor titles.

While there may have been battles once in a while, they generally took place quite far from Heian Kyo, and thus had little to no impact on its denizens.  The aristocrats’ wealth came from large holdings of land across the country, but provincial governors loyal to the emperor collected taxes from the peasantry and kept law and order.  Not only did Heian aristocrats rarely leave Heian Kyo, but they were rarely forced to confront the world outside of the city walls.

This peculiar situation explains, in large part, the blind focus on the world at hand – gossip, intrigue, and matters of rank. Why focus on outside matters if you don’t have to?

If you live in contemporary America, though there may seem to be all kinds of world problems, the fact is, they probably are not directly affecting you. There is no real threat of foreign invasion by sea or over the Mexican or Canadian border, civil war or internal revolt beyond protest seems unlikely, and the battles we do know about or participate in happen in far off lands most of us will never go to. So if you want to truly have Heian mentality, turn off the news! Don’t read that newspaper. Gossip about your rival. Try to overhear conversations around board games. Pay attention to other peoples’ outfits at the store, and complain about them later. You’re truly Heian now.